I wish this blog was about hilariously funny pickup lines. It’s not. Sorry.

I hate trucks. They totally stress me out. I’m not talking about the semi big rigs that drive cross country, although I definitely make sure I’m never sandwiched between them when I’m on a highway.

And those house movers—the wide load ones? They freak me out for sure.

But those aren’t the ones really scaring me either. I’m talking about the Ford pickups. The Chevys and the Rams. And truth be told, the trucks, themselves, don’t bother me. I’m frightened by the drivers behind the wheel.

I drive a girly car. It’s white and pretty. I have a student driver in my household so my husband thought he’d help keep us safe. He slapped the yellow “Be Patient, Student Driver” stickers on both sides of my vehicle, plus one on the back for good measure. You can’t miss me. My car reads like a giant danger zone.

You’d think drivers would heed the warnings and steer clear. Interestingly enough, this hasn’t been the case.

The minute those magnets were attached to my car, the pickup trucks that showed aggression towards my car increased two fold. At first, I thought I was imagining it. But as the days wore on, I realized that the magnets were actually attracting a strange breed of men who were emboldened by the clear signs of a distressed youth learning how to drive. They were deliberately trying to antagonize a young female student driver. They drove up behind my car, around my car, to the right and left of my car. I suddenly felt like I was in the Indy 500.

The funny part of this story, if there is a funny part, was when these morons caught up to me. Their look of surprise to see an adult driver behind the wheel was priceless. Yeah – it’s me. The forty-plus year old mother. I’m wearing my sweatshirt and yoga pants. Not who you thought? Feeling stupid now? You should.

When the male drivers realized they weren’t chasing a young woman, and the thrill was gone, well…they looked…disappointed and then angry. I received a lot of obscene gestures and dirty looks. Over the last few weeks, I’ve captured pictures of a half dozen license plates. I’ve thought about turning my collection into a photo gallery to post on social media, but sadly, all the cars look the same.

I still might do it. Kimberly Moorhead Author/ Photographer has a nice ring to it.